I teach ‘breaking binaries’
and deliver lectures on ‘agency’
*
But sometimes
I know
I fold myself
my words
my opinions
as if they are overgrown edges.
*
I teach how one should be
‘on the page’
*
But sometimes
I know
I live in margins
or as a footnote
in my own story.
*
I teach how to ‘critique patriarchy’
And develop ‘resistance’
*
But sometimes
I know
I soften my voice
in a strong argument
or to avoid conflict
I edit myself.
*
I teach how to ‘challenge authority’
And to express ‘dissent with power’
*
But sometimes
I know
I take charge of the home
and leave nothing to be shared
often, I suppress anger
so that the room remains easy.
*
I teach ‘subversion’ as a quiet shift
*
But sometimes
I know
compliance and conformity
runs in me and ruins me.
And then I gather myself
with a whisper
it is not ‘always,’ but only ‘sometimes’
*
But I know
‘Sometimes’ may learn to stay
and may turn to ‘always’.
*
Do I serve tea in a cup that
holds the ‘theory of resistance’?
Do my degrees hang next to ladles and pans?
— ash 25/4/26
Dr Aswathy Aravindakshan is a teacher, bilingual writer and artist with over two decades of experience in teaching English language and literature. She currently serves as Assistant Professor of English at NSS College for Women, Thiruvananthapuram, Kerala, India. Her blog, ashlit.in brings together academic resources, creative writing in Malayalam and English, and visual art. The platform features lecture notes, study materials, poems, reflections, short prose, and a curated collection of her paintings. Through this space, she seeks to foster learning, creativity, and meaningful engagement with literature and the arts.
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